It's not a perfect metaphor.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

After years of stormy sailing.

We had a cooking day in Manchester on Tuesday. I was genuinely really sad to be leaving on Wednesday, I had the most amazing time with my hostesses. Tuesday night was all curry and cake and talking until 3:30 in the morning. I really want to go back to Manchester before I fly over to Toronto, both to see those two and the parts of the city I missed out on first time round.

The train ride to Ulverston was pretty. Really pretty. I was picked up at the station and taken out to a little village and a little house in which lived a little family. They were really lovely people, a husband and wife and three-year-old son, and I was always either talking with le little boy or walking in beautiful places. On Thursday I saw market day in Ulverston (I love those things!) and caught the bus to Furness Abbey which is almost 1000 years old and is absolutely incredible. The history of that place is ... wow. On Friday we climbed up a massive hill and overlooked the beginning of Lake Windermere. Bloody brilliant. Oh, and I was taken out for an English beer that I thoroughly failed at drinking. Ugh. Awful stuff. Speaking of, I still haven't tried Marmite. I've heard extremely mixed reports and though I really miss Vegemite I am trying not to be that person who travels overseas and then looks for stuff from home. So Marmite it is. Eventually. When I work up the will to sample it.

I decided while staying in Ulverston to hop a train to Scotland, not entirely sure why, but I am really happy that I'm here. People in the hostel are friendly, even if I'm not. I spent a lot of time walking and sitting around Edinburgh yesterday, watched the sun set on Calton Hill and wandered down Princes Street. I am staying opposite the Balmoral Hotel where, I was informed, JK Rowling wrote the last Harry Potter book. Yeah, there's my Harry Potter reference, I am still a nerd. Last night I turned down the opportunity to go out drinking and stayed in. If I am completely honest; I stayed in, drank tea and read the Unbearable Lightness of Being. I am trying to be more fun, I really am, but I couldn't stop reading after the first twenty pages and, to be honest, pubs have just really not proven to be my thing. I'll try harder tonight, I promise.

I know that after I admitted what I did last night just above this will sound weird but I felt really lonely yesterday. I've had a couple of those moments in the last few days where I am suddenly not entirely satisfied with seeing these beautiful sights on my own. I'm loving it here, and I mean really, but so often I think "Oh, ____ would love this" or "It'd be nice if ____ was here". Back home I'm totally fine spending hours, days, on my own but here I've gotten needy. And yet I can't change who I am and I'm not this friendly, outgoing person who will talk to anyone and everyone and find friends wherever they go. I hide away from people even when I'm desperate to talk to them and they seem like someone I would really like. A guy who met me for five minutes immediately asked me if I liked watching Daria. A few of you will know why that was so bitterly funny to me.

I'm going to try and be social today. Wish me luck, I suppose.

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